The “Keep It Simple” Kishmas
“Christmas comes but once a year.” And thank God for that. In most families, almost all of the shopping, gift wrapping, card sending, house cleaning, decorating, baking, cooking, dish washing, pot scrubbing, and more cleaning falls to the womenfolk. For a lot of women the holidays aren’t a holiday at all but a period of stress and anxiety. Women are the hub around which holidays revolve and when they die the next generation of women take on the responsibilities.
When I was a child we had Christmas dinner at my maternal grandparents’ house. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins gathered around the table. It was a great occasion. The entire dinner for fourteen people was homemade, including the pickles. I still remember Mémé, Mommy, and my aunts gathered in the kitchen after dinner, laughing as they cleared the table and washed the dishes. My mother spent childhood Christmases at her mémé’s house, where guests were greeted with a glass of sherry and a small slice of fruitcake to warm them up after the long drive. Almost everything on the table was produced on the farm.
After my grandmother passed away we had Christmas dinner at home. My mom sent out cards and made decorations. We always had a tree with lights, and decorations upstairs, downstairs, and on the front door. She started her baking in November and on Christmas Day we had a turkey with all the trimmings. Just like at my grandmother’s and great-grandmother’s dinners, everything was homemade.
When we were old enough, my sister and I helped with the baking and the turkey. My mother suffered ill health before she died in 2016 so my sister took over hosting the holiday at her home. Now we have Christmas at my Dad’s and commandeer his kitchen. I make the rolls and pies. My sister brings the turkey and vegetables. Brother-in-law makes the gravy. My father doesn’t like to see us going to so much trouble but we say, “It makes the day special.” He says “Keep it simple! Just order pizza!” so this Christmas we’re taking him at his word and dialling back the do. We’re going to enjoy a (relatively) fuss-free day with take-out pizza and homemade desserts. A quiet and relaxed Christmas makes more sense than ever this year. We all need a real holiday.
My own Christmas decorating has always leaned toward the minimal. I’ve spent every Christmas with my parents so it seemed silly to decorate my own place when it stood uninhabited over the holidays. I’ve never had room for a tree or the space to store ornaments but I allowed myself one exception. My little sister’s class was selling Christmas-themed candle holders to fund a school trip, so I bought one: my “Ami de Noël,” a little penguin wrapped in a green scarf, which I’ve brought out of its box every Christmas for thirty-five years. Until quite recently, it was the only Christmas decoration I owned.
I prefer low-maintenance natural decor, like the easy-to-grow amaryllis I treat myself to every year. They bloom for the season and unless you want to overwinter them for the next year, they can be composted. Cyclamen and paperwhites are also favourites. My “tree” these days is a little lavender bush in a cachepot on my mantle. It’s just big enough to support one ornament. Green things make a room come alive and they don’t need to be stored in the attic.
Some of the traditions I remember from my childhood, like carolling, have been discontinued and replaced with new ones of my own. This week I attended a perfomance of Handel’s Messiah. I put on Vince Guaraldi’s soundtrack to A Charlie Brown Christmas and dance. And when I travel back home I’ll enjoy another tradition I adopted a few years ago, listening to Dylan Thomas’s sonorous reading of his A Child’s Christmas in Wales, as the snow swirls in the headlights.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!